Unexpected Blessing

Unexpected but not unwanted. That’s how I describe the arrival of my daughter who is now 3 years old and 2 months as of writing. I first learned that I was pregnant with my firstborn when I had my first pregnancy test on June 2012. I already had presumed that I was pregnant because I already missed  my regular monthly period but I just disregarded the matter not until I had myself a pregnancy test. At first, I really don’t know how and what to react on this very shocking and unexpected matter. It was a mix emotion for sure. Happiness and sadness was what I felt on that moment. But sadness overpowered more than the happiness because I know it would bring so much shame on my part because I know that my parents had so much more for me, they (parents) expected more and better things to happen in my life as I was just a newly licensed nurse back in 2012 and I was still creating a stepping stone to a more brighter future in my career as a nurse.  I have not achieved a milestone in my life yet! I just graduated from college in March 2011, became a registered nurse by June of the same year and just started to practice my profession by November of 2011. And voila! pregnancy journey came by June 2012. What a journey indeed! Everything happened so fast! Really fast.

More so on my pregnancy journey, all through out the 9 months I carried my child on my womb, my life started to become miserable and full of sufferings. Only God knows what I really went through out my journey. It was full of tears more than laughters. But thankfully, God was with me. Even though I had a lot of down moments on my pregnancy, I never really felt a hard time or experienced difficult changes on my body except for the body weight gain (normal changes). I never experienced the morning sickness, vomiting, headache, drowsiness and body pains and etc. The pain that I experience was mostly coming from the inner me, not from the growing baby inside me. Even as I was about to give birth already, I did not experienced a true labor ( thank God! I know that would be very unbearable for me. Haha!) but instead my Ob-Gyne opted me to go thru an induced labor for me to have a progress on giving birth via NSVD (Normal Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery). The hospital let me signed a waiver just to let me know that they have my consent on doing so the induced labor procedure for 24 hours. There they connected an intravenous line for the medicine and voila! I experienced the false contractions and the pain was too unbearable, I swear! But the 24 hours of induced labor ended with no progress at all. As the medicine for induction was already removed, my contractions also ended too. But my Ob-Gyne has always made sure that the baby inside is doing fine and healthy. We were really trying and forcing myself to give birth normally and a C-section would just bethe least option. Even though 24 hours of induced labor has already gone by, my Ob gave me another one last night to rest and wait for some progress again without the induced labor procedure. As the dawn came after the induced labor procedure, I already felt a lot of blood came out and I was like feeling that I am about to poop and the baby would just come out with no doctor at all, only the nurses on duty inside the labor room were with me. Upon the thought that I would give birth on that time, the nurses quickly called the resident doctor on duty to check on me. But unfortunately, the doctor who checked on me did not saw a progress at all. So, I waited until the morning again when my Ob visited me but this time she already had me prepared to undergo an emergency C-section and I quickly gave her a go signal as I was already tired too and I was already excited to see my little girl. Then exactly on a Sunday, 9 am of April 7, 2013 I gave birth to my little girl whom I named Ayanna (FYI, her name came from the bible. It means “blossom/beautiful flower”).

Looking back at that journey of mine, I became really thankful and grateful to the Lord. I became contented with my life and I became appreciative even on small things like being able to wake up each day, breathe and live another day with your loved ones. My pregnancy and motherhood journey has brought me into a better and positive me. God has His own ways really on how to change your life into a better one or even the best one. 

I would share more on my motherhood journey on my upcoming blogs soon. Feel free to comment and share your experiences with me. And together, will face the journey with a positive vibe. Just remember, #GodFirstBeforeEverythingElse

 
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New Found Relationship

On my very first official blog post, I would like to share something. It is something wherein I have found an inner peace of mind and a positive attitude. Late of 2015, I have found myself on a new and more deeper relationship with someone whom I have found myself so peaceful and contented with my life. It’s a relationship that I know would be the honest one and a relationship that would last for a lifetime. It’s a relationship that I know I would be more comfortable and most secure. It’s relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ. My Father and My Saviour whom I found and formed a deeper and more intimate relationship. Before, I know there is God who created everything and who is always there for us. But never did I had a more deeper relationship with Him before, not until I experienced a downfall moment in my life (I will share to you soon on my blog). More so, and because of the biggest trial of my life that happened, slowly I found the Lord again who became my only refuge and strength to keep moving forward. I know that the Lord has always been there for me because until now, I am still standing tall amidst the trials and sufferings I went through. The Lord has always been there for me all the time and I just disregarded His presence before. I believe that He was just putting me on a test in life to let me wake up; to look and search for Him again and form a more deeper relationship with Him. Now that I have woke up, I can say that the Lord, Jesus Christ is my everything. God first before everything else. He comes first more than anyone else. He is everything. To whatever I do and whatever happens in my life, I always say these line; “To You Lord, I lift everything up. It is your will not mine”.  I also do believe now that everything happens for a reason. And just believe in Him always because He knows the right and best time for you. As they say, In God’s Own Perfect Time. 

If you haven’t found yourself in peaceful state of mind, just try to look and have time with the Lord. Make time for a “Me Time” and spend it the with the Lord. Even just for a few minutes or an hour each day, talk your insights or problems with the Lord. Just say anything to Him. There with Him, you will find an answer, the best answer. And slowly, you will see a whole new perspective in life. A positive one for sure. Then, you will notice that your life has changed into a better one. A life with the Lord will always be the best one. Just pray. And continue to believe and have faith in Him. 

Remember this. # GodFirstBeforeEverythingElse

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